The Significance of A Weekend Road Trip

So… I’m stoked for this weekend. Reasons why:

1.) I get to go on an awesome road trip with my cousin Ginny (Yay for girl time!).
2.) I get to see my best friend in the entire world (Magin, I can’t wait to hug you & tell you thank you in person for being the absolute bestest in the midwestest, and for hanging tough with this spaz through the thick and thin).
3.) I get to see some of my other amazing friends out in Colorado (Thank you Aaron for picking us up from the airport and helping me get my truck loaded. You’re amazing).
4.) I get my entire house and personal things out of storage that I’ve gone without for almost a year (YAY for my own bed and my books!!!)
But mainly (not to take anything away from the amazing people I get to share it with), because this weekend represents something so incredibly huge for me. It’s the step of me finally letting go of the past and embracing the present, and letting myself have hope for the future. It’s been a long time coming and I’m proud of myself for getting here. It’s been hell to reach the top of this mountain.

Beautiful

“Beautiful”
Written by Rachelle R.

Flipping through a magazine
you see the stars and beauty queens
Longing for her perfect face
you look in the mirror and feel disgrace

Your nose is too big
your hips are too wide
A scar from an accident
A dimple in your thigh

You poke & prod & cover up
The flaws you see
But no such luck

You stand before the mirror and cry
Not realizing the beauty
That you hold inside

God made you perfect
In His image you see
He loves you as you
He loves me for me

Quit trying to hide
the marks that you bare
They tell the tale of your heart
that you should share

But you say “Yeah God loves me,
but what about man?”
I tell you if he’s worth it
He’s gonna understand

He will think that you’re beautiful
when you very first wake up
His favorite face on you
will be the one without your make up

He will look past the outside
that of your shell,
He will be searching for more
The story you tell

He will think you are amazing
Even when you cry
He will tell you that you’re lovely
Because of what’s inside

Ladies don’t settle,
your heart is your prize
Your body is just the vessel
that keeps it safe inside

God hid it for a reason
He had a job to do
He wanted man to seek Him
In order to find his way to you

So if you find yourself lonely,
Don’t give up just yet
It’s not what’s outside that is causing it
It’s just your man isn’t ready yet

God needs to prepare him
For the beauty you behold
Not only on the outside
But inside where there’s pure gold

You are beautiful and lovely
perfect the way you are
God made you someone special
You’re the one who rose the bar

I love you friends 🙂 Don’t ever think less of yourself because you don’t feel “perfect” on the outside. Your heart is what matters and God thinks you are beautiful and so do I.

2013 in Review

Oh what to say about this last year… Reflecting back on where I was at this time last year shows me just how much can change in such a short amount of time. I think it’s safe to say that I can chalk this year up to lessons learned.

Reflections

The kid gloves have come off. It’s now or never and I can either take these lessons and learn from them and move forward or I can go my own way and keep living the crazy cycle.

Missing Something? So was I…

This is long, but stick with me if you’re at the point in your life where you just want something more than what you have now.

Slow Your Roll Turbo…

I have some down time this weekend because I was unable to go home for the holidays, and well… everyone else was. So I find myself alone. And that scared me at first. It’s been a rough year to say the least, and the last thing I wanted was time to reflect on it. I didn’t want to confront the pain or walk through the emotions that come with starting the healing process. At least not right now. It’s Christmas for goodness sakes and it should be a joyful time!! (That last sentence oozed with sarcasm by the way)

Where do you look when it’s yourself that you’ve lost?

As I type this, I weep. I weep because I’m sad. I weep because I’m hurt. I weep because I’m lost and so completely and utterly broken inside. I am ashamed to admit that I am not sure I even recognize the voice of God within my own heart because I’ve spent the last 6 months pushing it away and running from Him. And yet… in my search for something, anything, to hold onto I stumble across this:

“I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” Romans 8:38 NLT

God still loves me. I might have pushed Him away, but He’s still there. Still constant. Still good. Never changing, always the “I AM”.

We Gotta Learn to Roll With it…

I am learning that in order to enjoy life, we often have to throw our expectations out the window. Things rarely happen when we are “ready” for them, and often the best things come when we least expect them to, and when we are not looking for, or necessarily think we even want them at that point of our lives.

Draw Me Close To You…

Tonight as I was sitting in my room winding down from the day, preparing myself for the upcoming work week, I began to just feel like something was wrong, or missing. I began to think about all that has gone on in my life these last few weeks, and as usual, it has been a little eventful to say the least.

Praise God & Love Others Well

It’s been a pretty horrific day here in Colorado. The tragedy that happened at the theatre seems to have touched just about everyone I’ve talked to in some way, shape or form. I am not exempt from this, but this is not about me or my story. I was humbled in a very real way today and reminded that the important things in life… are not “things” at all, but the relationships and people we encounter every day.